Betamorphosis - Lycra likes this...

Protected from the harsh sun in our expertly constructed full body suits - manufactured and imported no doubt from a factory in mainland China where working conditions are less than ideal - the weekend unfolded with the chants and jeers as 6 brave men sucked it up (quite literally in most photos) and paraded outfits that left little to the imagination of most onlookers... Some girls (most at the guy wearing the camo suits) looked impressed - or at least that's what I could make out from the blurred vision you experience as I looked through a 1000 thread count polyester blend of ridiculousness.

This brings me to the Fun side...

Imagine everyone was clad in Lycra as the default option of dress...

Imagine waking up, groggy from a big day at the cricket (picture all your photos on Facebook - everyone in different coloured morph suits), getting a glass of water at the tap - your fountain of refreshment - and realising you are late for a meeting and have to decide what colour morph suit you had to wear. Imagine them all hanging there, arms and fingers dangling lifeless like the second skins of silliness you currently associate these with...

Hilarious...

You arrive at the meeting after seeing an array of morhps (not a homophobe...) on your way to work in their cars head nodding to the music, mouths (where they use to be...) gaping as the radio song hit the crescendo of "I would do anything for love - but I won't do that..." as the Old School section on 5FM plays as the soundtrack to your morning life and drive.

I wonder if all of life's sub-cultures would subscribe - goths in black, hippies in tattered flower power shades of grey, car guards with a luminescent yellow reflective item on the chest and the rasta at the robot in candy-striped green, yellow and red...

I can see people or at least only one person on the Gautrain bus listening to his / her iPod with big earphones - inserty ones just wouldn't cut it anymore... Apparently the loss of revenue hit the earphone factory - actually the one next to the factory where the morph suits are made - very hard and they had to close down as a result.

Silly. Well not if you were employed there I guess...

Scoping the lady or man of your dreams would be quite nice - no room to hide those delicate bits and the flaunting of flesh would be rather revealing. I wonder if shop assistants would prescribe vertical line designs to make you appear slimmer and taller despite being obviously overweight and short in your suit.

Would we be healthier? Mind you we would probably all be thinner providing our face masks were permanently zipped up - massive mission to drink and eat out of and if you knew what a hack going to the bathroom was, probably well worth holding back the 6 cups of coffee and a Bar One at work...

MMMmmm Bar One...

Imagine the conversation - "Guys lets dress up for the cricket..."

Would the outcasts and attention seekers created by Universities and 21sts during our irresponsible youth dress up by ... dressing up in a suit like bankers / accountants ... 9to5ers in chinos, white shirt, brown belt and brown shoes (all from Woolworths naturally...)

Ridiculous and rather boring don't you think...

Quite happy we don't all wear morph suits 24.7 - especially a couple people I saw at the cricket on Saturday on there fourth boerie roll and 10 beer - mind you I had two and the same respectively...

Whoopsy daisies...

So next time you see me - or whoever in a morph suit - perhaps rather think of the corollary to silly dress up themes (particularly the morph suit mania we are seeing) and that we may just be dressing up to remind everyone that the uniform, faceless, grossly revealing aspects of what our hips are telling you, is the scientific process of making the world a beta place and that this - betamorhosis - is only a vehicle for laughter, fun and silliness...