Glances and Chances

How often do you turn your head, make eye contact and glance at the person as you overtake them?

This has got to be one of the most succinct moments of our modern lives…  Perhaps we were never ‘wired’ to move this fast and this is one of those engrained instincts that has stuck with us to seek out, adjudicate and act (or not act…) or as we have now termed it JUDGE.

That moment where in an instant, you either regret looking or are surprisingly pleased to have glanced casually – always casually – and made eye contact.

It’s that fraction of a second – that miniscule moment – that I find so funny…

There are endless scenarios that run through my mind – traffic in Joburg lets you have time to think and experience some of these things…

Whether its overtaking a sluggish silver Toyota Corolla on Rivonia only to pass a glance – WOW she’s a cracker – feeling yourself subconsciously slowing down to have a second look?

Seeing the attractive person in the review mirror as you wait … Red … Amber … Green...

Do make eye contact again…? Give them a wave, a dorky smile – a smile that will never go anywhere?

RATS s/he pulled off – realising as you start to work out the number of cars on the roads in Gauteng and the likely probability of EVER seeing her again becoming as minuscule as the timeframe you interacted with them… (sigh)

OR

The biker that squeezes by your car while you are set on the tarmac, almost bumping your side mirror, only to give you a glance and the reflective visor to quite scarily force you to look back and zap him in your mind as you watch him – irritated – disappearing into the distance – take the turn off into the McDonalds Drive-Thru grab a Number 2 – I like to think so – and be off before you have made one car’s progress…

OR

The grotesque individual – male or female – not smiling, eyes hazy, wrappers and cans in the backseat that literally forces you to pretend to be looking at their car and slowly start to remove focus from the spot you are pretending to look at just below the handle of the door…

Green …

Thank goodness…

On a funnier more abstract note does this provide the platform for the next form of modern dating – we’ve heard of online dating – is traffic dating or “trafficking” – wait that’s something else… the next BIG thing? The chance to make contact and tell someone to stop putting on their make up or picking their nose, someone you feel you could connect with – perhaps star sign compatibilities displayed…

I can already see the red dotted LED screen mounted on the windscreen scrolling… (Courtesy: Notting Hill)

“You are the most beautiful women in the world …”

“Fancy a Shag? J”  (apparently anything ended off in a smiley face these days means "said comment" cannot be offensive – FYI…)

No… that’s creepy I hear the beat of your binary thoughts toward me over the Internet…

But we’ve all done it… Well not Traffic-Dated – but judged…

I wonder if there are any success stories…? Pieces of paper with a cellphone number scribbled in Lipstick?

Hand-signing your mobile number to the hottie next to you – while hoping the tattooed tow-truck driver isn’t writing down your number at the same time…

“Where did you meet…?”

“In traffic on Marlboro just before you hit the N3” (not romantic but hey…)

We all judge – the immediate judging of the driver of a flash sports car, the skedonk Datsun, the stinger missile in the Hyundai ix35, MILF in the Toyota Prado, relaxed cat on his Vespa with a loaf of French bread and an Olive Tapenade dip in his carry basket as he scoots by on 4^th Avenue as you anxiously prepare to parallel park in front of Espressos as the crowd watches… and judges.

So judging has become part of modern society – practiced – accepted – maybe  there’s some fun to be had here?

So … next time you steal a glance take the chance – wave, wink or smile – I always do – you never know, it just may be worth your while…